kid-less
Reaction from other friends is that the speech of the President was unwatchable even with diverting alcohol game! I watched and took very small sips of my beer. Alcohol did not change my impression- I could go on about the whole situation in Iraq, but that would depress me. Maybe I just have a "pre-9/11 mindset" and I "hate America" ...yeah, that's it... anyway, the beer was good and it was a relaxing evening because I'm now such a lightweight that one beer gives me a pleasant buzz.
Today is day 4 without my daughter. Our place seems strangely quiet. I feel like part of my body is missing or that I've misplaced something terribly important. Did you ever have that dream in college when you sleep through the final? its kind of like that feeling...Of course, the reality is that she is having a blast in Canada with a bunch of cousins and has been out in the wilderness (already a bear sighting) She's been dying to go for weeks and has marked the calendar for days.
Before she left, I thought, "Yeah, sweet freedom! no kid, woohoo!" And it is kind of nice having more time to yourself, more control over your schedule...but it also feels kind of...empty.
Before I had my daughter, I assumed when I became a mother that I would, of course, love my child. But nobody warns you about the connection. It is different than love--and its intense. There is a lot of Hallmark-y card sentimental tripe about a "mother's love" that I think tries to come close to explaining it. I think it misses the mark, the connection is unsentimental. It is hard and it is real. It is staying up all night, changing diapers, baby puke, kid puke, runs to the urgent care at 2 am, worries about daycare, school, friends, grades, homework. An unparalelled emotional investment. A little person forms and evolves before your very eyes.
So, yes, sweet freedom- I'm enjoying the time and the peacefulness.
But, I do miss the little person.
Today is day 4 without my daughter. Our place seems strangely quiet. I feel like part of my body is missing or that I've misplaced something terribly important. Did you ever have that dream in college when you sleep through the final? its kind of like that feeling...Of course, the reality is that she is having a blast in Canada with a bunch of cousins and has been out in the wilderness (already a bear sighting) She's been dying to go for weeks and has marked the calendar for days.
Before she left, I thought, "Yeah, sweet freedom! no kid, woohoo!" And it is kind of nice having more time to yourself, more control over your schedule...but it also feels kind of...empty.
Before I had my daughter, I assumed when I became a mother that I would, of course, love my child. But nobody warns you about the connection. It is different than love--and its intense. There is a lot of Hallmark-y card sentimental tripe about a "mother's love" that I think tries to come close to explaining it. I think it misses the mark, the connection is unsentimental. It is hard and it is real. It is staying up all night, changing diapers, baby puke, kid puke, runs to the urgent care at 2 am, worries about daycare, school, friends, grades, homework. An unparalelled emotional investment. A little person forms and evolves before your very eyes.
So, yes, sweet freedom- I'm enjoying the time and the peacefulness.
But, I do miss the little person.
posted by moegirl at
5:21 PM
1 Comments:
Oh, yeah, right on, and you know what a sarcastic, unsentimental person I am. Even if I have been with the little bugs every waking hour for 4 days, I still miss them with in minutes of pulling out of the driveway for work. There is something a bit martyred or something that one of your jobs as a parent is to raise them to stand on their own, away from you. As my mom is fond of saying, "I never know how much my mother loved me until I had kids of my own." Gah, but I am sappy today. So, the beer. Which one did you choose?
By
Diana, At
4:59 AM
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