shopping with the fashion goddess

My favorite season, fall is just around the corner. Of course, fall also means back to school. And back to school shopping. My daughter just turned 11 on September 1. This seems quite impossible to me because it feels like she was just born. Anyway, she's actually growing up and is incredibly smart, charming and stunningly gorgeous. Not that I would ever brag...

So, Friday she comes to work for a half day with me. She loves to use the copier, stuff envelopes and put stamps on things so she's actually quite useful. We left around lunchtime for the odessey of shopping. We start out at "Famous Footwear" in search of the staple of every kid's shoe wardrobe- durable sneakers for running around and everyday. I admit a mixed relationship with the Famous Footwear. I like their prices, but hate their attitude. I have walked in there with a small purse which they demand I surrender, I guess they think I would steal tiny shoes that I could never wear. The clerks eye you suspiciosly there. Anyway, I ask one of the highly skeptical clerks where the kid's shoes are...and she said "I don't have any kids"

I was momentarily taken aback. I didn't really care if she had kids or not, I just wanted to buy my kid some shoes. Then I caught on, they don't have kid's shoes. But, Allie can wear small women's shoes so we try a couple on. She is lukewarm. I decide if she's not excited about it we're not buying. So then we head to the Nike Outlet in North Portland. Every other parent in the greater Portland area is there too. It is hell-a-packed. Mothers with several children are walking around dazed caring several shoe boxes while rambunctious boys are jumping up and down. One grandmother struggles her grandkids in and out of different shoes. She stands up and smooths her skirt declaring "You better pick fast, because we are getting the hell out of this place!" I surpress the desire to say "Amen sister!" Allie and I manage to find a bench - and at last victory! She finds a pair of suitable blue and white nikes. She road tests them by running up an aisle of ladies walking shoes which is the only empty aisle in the place. She declares these shoes THE ONES. I know our fortunes are changing because I find a great backpack for $15. Sweet! We leave the Nike outlet in triumph.

Now we head to the Target in Clackamas. I am happy because I love Le Target - my favorite place to shop. I know this will be easy because Allie has pre-picked her shoes from Target. Ugg style boots and cute "fancy" shoes, black with a small heel and side bow. Boots yes, but they don't have the fancy shoes in her size. She is visibly sad. However, unlike Famous Footwear, clerks at Target don't eye you like some shoplifting pain in the ass, they actually help you! I believe the shoe department clerk was moved by Allie's downcast, little match girl persona. She called another Target which had the very shoes we needed. We sped to back to North Portland. Customer service had the shoes "Jianna black girls size 4" waiting for us.

Then it is on to the mall where the real fun begins. JC Penney. We try on a dozen pairs of jeans and find the most stylish perfect pair. Allie does the requesit super-model poses in the fitting room mirror, and I know we have a winner. We also buy young girl's undergarments - if you know what I mean. Allie has threatened me with bodily harm if I mention this to anyone...she kind of hurriedly goes through the process of choosing, and then threatens me with death if I mention said undergarments to anyone.....so shhh....then on to Sears. Not a good selection and horrible sad florescent lighting makes us both look green. It doesn't take long to conclude Sears is a waste of time. We move on to Old Navy- much cuter, trendier and better lighting. Several jeans go into the dressing room. Allie is a ruthless taskmaster, only one pair of jeans makes the cut. Then we sojourn on to Mervyns. My enthusiasm and energy begins to flag. Allie though, is still full steam ahead. Here we find the final pair of jeans, a top, and a long skirt. We get in line to pay. I avoid the line where the elderly foreign couple argues over what underwear to buy their granddaughter. Grandma insist they must buy more, especially since they are only $1.25, but Grandpa holds the line. Grandma angrily grabs more underwear out of the sales bin and insists. Another cashier says, "I can take you over here" I start to move to her register, when the woman behind the elderly couple, still arguing, shoves ahead of me and says "I'm taking this" I realize back to school shopping is a cutthroat business, and one clearly needs to move faster than I did. Yet another cashier helps me, and points out the rude behavior of the other lady. Eyeing the still arguing elderly couple I say I can't really blame her. We finish our transaction, and I glance over at the elderly couple. Grandpa loses. A large pile of bright yellow underwear with red hearts from the sales bin are in a pile on the counter and the salesgirl tallies them up and Grandpa pulls out his wallet.

At last home sweet home. 6 and half hours later, we haul our load- three pairs of shoes, backpack, unmentionable undergarments, three pairs of jeans, two tops and a skirt.

The evening ends with a fashion show for my husband, peacefully enjoying computer games in the loft. Allie assembles various outfits. I describe them and "announce" her. She comes up the stairs and walks like a supermodel puts her hands on her hips, and pivots, turns, hair flips. She shows us four exciting school ensembles.

She finally calms down enough to go to sleep. I meanwhile curl up in the fetal position on the couch.