sooo tired, sooo very tired

Saturday, was my "graduation" walk. I walked around 22 miles. I actually felt very exhuasted before the walk, so that I got up at 5 frickin' AM is an achievement in itself. Sometimes my work, being wife and mom is overwhelming. I want to hire a guest worker to fulfill all aspects of my life sometimes. My workplace might cope okay, but I don't know how my husband or daughter might feel about that...

Anyway, we walked around Lake Oswego. Such nice scenery and houses, so much better that the dumpy St. Helens Hwy., and the dismal industrial Front Ave. walk. As nice as Portland is, as much as I have been walking the greater downtown area, it was nice to get out of town. New scenery, kids playing soccer, people tidying their yards...and we did also have aid stations. One station was at a walk group leaders house and her little daughter served us homemade peanutbutter cookies, as she was wearing a tiara. My ladies group is very fun, so that makes the walks so much more pleasant. We are hoping to continue after the marathon...I will join, but somedays I feel like I will never want to walk again! I will wheel around in one of those scooters, and act eccentric.

Anyway, I thought we only had one big hill to walk so I pushed myself and really kicked butt up the hill...a little leg spasm in my left calf muscle, but VICTORY! I was awesome on the hill! Then we had another hill...Kill me, kill me now.... then it began to rain. I didn't bother to put on my coat or baseball cap. I was a dismal march to the end. However, I was rewarded with my graduation magnet and free red vines licorice, and candies...I was cranky and slept off and on for the rest of the afternoon. Then I had to get up early today and work for four hours on my still swollen feet....crabby, crabby, cranky, cranky.

Tonight my feet are recovering and my attitude is slightly better. Of course today, was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks and the Katrina hurricane and all the suffering down there is front and center as it should be...its just heartbreaking. Its very hard for me to feel good about the future as I don't trust our leadership.

I did a little comparison in my mind this morning on my drive. December 7, 1941- America is attacked. President Roosevelt swings into action and puts America on war footing. Through his leadership America really does become the "arsenal of Democracy" Senator Harry Truman cracks down on war profiteering, his committee is so high profile he is Roosevelt's running mate in 1944. By December 7, 1945- four years after the attack on Pearl Harbor- Hitler is dead, Japan is defeated and America is undertaking the "Marshall Plan" that will re-build Europe and serve as a bulwark against Communism. American soliders coming home benefit from the GI Bill- they are able to go to college, buy a home, and build America into an economic powerhouse.
Sadly, Roosevelt died in April 1945- his wife telegrams their four sons all in the armed forces and tells them not to come home from their posts, because that's what their father would have wanted. As sad as it is that Roosevelt dies, Americans are left in Truman's capable hands. On his desk he has a placard that reads "The buck stops here." And it did.

September 11, 2001. Bush swings into action. There is a good start, the culprits are identified. Armed forces head into Afganistan with the support of the world, and a cruelly repressive regime is dismantled. But Bush pulls the plug to invade Iraq WHICH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ATTACKS ON AMERICA (not my conclusion, the conclusion of the 9/11 commission, and the President himself said on the record there was NO evidence that Saddam was involved in the 9/11 attacks) Its almost as if Roosevelt said in 1943, "Hey, lets pull the troops from Europe and the Pacific and attack Brazil"- Yes, let us let Hitler, oops, I mean Osama to run free and serve as an inspiration to all his followers! that's frickin' brilliant!

Okay, today is September 11, 2005- We are in Iraq and it doesn't look pretty. Our minimal troop presence in Afganistan has not captured or killed a man responsible for the deaths of 3,000 Americans. He and his Al Queda followers pulled off a successful terrorist attack in London, a major European capital while Bush was visiting that country. One of Osama's main guys, Zarquarwi is in Iraq, killing as many Americans as he can...very few people probably noticed the news item because of the Katrina coverage, but he and his followers have gained control of a town on the Iraq/Syria border- you know, Syria, where the terrorist are crossing the boarder into Iraq...Meanwhile, sweetheart deals, contracts with very little oversight and billions of dollars are being spent. Estimates are that 8 billion dollars are UNACCOUNTED FOR...a woman at the Pentagon trying to blow the whistle on this corruption was recently demoted. Congress is interested in steroids, but not the taxpayers money. Estimates are the war and rebuilding Iraq will cost 200 billion dollars. Amercian soliders are coming home to closing veterans hospitals, listless economy, growing poverty, and less benefits. President Bush's daughters aren't serving in the armed forces as Roosevelt's sons did...but they are not alone. The army cannot reach its recruitment goals...all those young people who voted for Bush, aren't willing to make the sacrifice. They are willing to mock a woman who has the audacity to ask why her son is dead. Today is September 11, 2005- and our country is in shock from an incredible tragedy. The President's PR people are making sure there are firefighters to pose with the him on his photo-ops- the President is hinting that all the blame for the dismal efforts early in the crisis rest with local officials...The BUCK NEVER STOPS AT BUSH'S DESK.

I'm depressed...

I pray a Roosevelt or a Truman emerges in 2008 to save our country.