My Reunion date: Ex-con lumberjack that I met at Orange Julius
Sooo....the big reunion night arrived. It was about 105 degrees (not even exaggerating!) So, my grand plan of beauty really didn't work, since my make up would melt off my face and my hair was quite droopy.
J. and I picked up my high school best buddy G. She, of course, looks nothing short of stunning. Thin, blond, great figure! Anyway, very nice to see her and her folks who were like a second set of parents to me, and I saw her brother, who I have not seen since I babysat for him when he was four and I took him to "Hamburger King"- which was his name for Burger King. He's now 23.
Riding to the Reunion with G. made me remember why high school was fun...because she was fun and we had so much fun together just laughing about things.
The reunion itself was very surreal. I don't know any other way to describe it. A room full of people you feel like you knew in another lifetime, before you became "you." Also, people that you don't have a heck of a lot in common with except you went to the same high school years ago. Also, all my female classmates look great, some even better than high school. The years have not been a friend to the men! Not lookin' so good. Even some of the guys who were really hot in high school looked old.
Anyway, J. made what might have been a vaguely uncomfortable and surreal evening hilarious.
A lot of the reunion was strained chit-chat and small talk. Early in the evening, J. and I are standing in a semi-circle with some other couples. Someone asks J. "What do you do for a living?"
And J., smiling, says "Oh, I'm a lumberjack" (no really he works at a healthcare software company)
Everyone smiles and nods, and says, "Wow" I can barely stifle a laugh. As I mix and mingle, J. has an opportunity to tell more tales. One story is a heartbreaker- J. "is trying to put his life together after a prison stay"...he met me as I was doing Christian ministry work in the prison and helped him turn his life around.
You see, to add more humiliation to the proceedings, we were all given name tags with our high school yearbook photo on it. Our spouses also have our pictures on it. So, I'm sure he had some people ask how he met me, and so forth.
Anyway, I reconnected with T. a guy I had a mad, mad crush on in high school, but he never asked me out. I secretly hope he burns with regret over this decision. He tells me he's "googled" me and knows what I'm up to. Old habits die hard and I flirtatiously ask what he's doing. He laughs, because back in high school we knew each other well- we co-edited the high school paper and we alternately flirted or ripped on each other- a kind of junior version of "Cheers" Sam and Diane. So, we have a nice long chat about our jobs, our lives, and we show each other photos of our adorable children and just overall a really a nice conversation. At the end he says, "So, is it true you met your husband at Orange Julius at the mall?"
Of course I say NO- and I let him know that J. is not 26 either! (he's 33, which of course he makes a huge deal about being the "younger man")
Apparently, when I'm not leading convicts to Jesus, I'm trolling the mall for younger men. That's J.'s other story of how we met.
The more I have to drink the more hilarious I find my husband's winding up classmates I barely knew and will probably never see again (unless I go to the 30 year reunion- which is unlikely, my curiousity about these people is satisfied) One other story he told some guy I didn't know in high school in the elevator is that he is a retired pornography producer who has "left that kind of life behind." J. told T. (high school crush) this story and both were dying with laughter.
It was nice to spend some time with G. (who had a great time,) and as they should- people complimented her on how awesome she looked. And, J.B. a friend from Drama class and a "just friends" but excellent prom date sat with us and it was really great catching up with him. It was nice to see that people who were good kids in high school went on to have nice lives.
In the midst of all this a lot of my insecurities kind of dissipated. I think I have a few hang ups about how I look all the time and the reunion thing just made it flare up more intensely for a while. I was re-assured not to feel any pressure really in the whole "success" thing.
It was just a fun, surreal evening with the lovely G. and my ex-con, ex-porn producing, lumberjack that I met at the Orange Julius.
J. and I picked up my high school best buddy G. She, of course, looks nothing short of stunning. Thin, blond, great figure! Anyway, very nice to see her and her folks who were like a second set of parents to me, and I saw her brother, who I have not seen since I babysat for him when he was four and I took him to "Hamburger King"- which was his name for Burger King. He's now 23.
Riding to the Reunion with G. made me remember why high school was fun...because she was fun and we had so much fun together just laughing about things.
The reunion itself was very surreal. I don't know any other way to describe it. A room full of people you feel like you knew in another lifetime, before you became "you." Also, people that you don't have a heck of a lot in common with except you went to the same high school years ago. Also, all my female classmates look great, some even better than high school. The years have not been a friend to the men! Not lookin' so good. Even some of the guys who were really hot in high school looked old.
Anyway, J. made what might have been a vaguely uncomfortable and surreal evening hilarious.
A lot of the reunion was strained chit-chat and small talk. Early in the evening, J. and I are standing in a semi-circle with some other couples. Someone asks J. "What do you do for a living?"
And J., smiling, says "Oh, I'm a lumberjack" (no really he works at a healthcare software company)
Everyone smiles and nods, and says, "Wow" I can barely stifle a laugh. As I mix and mingle, J. has an opportunity to tell more tales. One story is a heartbreaker- J. "is trying to put his life together after a prison stay"...he met me as I was doing Christian ministry work in the prison and helped him turn his life around.
You see, to add more humiliation to the proceedings, we were all given name tags with our high school yearbook photo on it. Our spouses also have our pictures on it. So, I'm sure he had some people ask how he met me, and so forth.
Anyway, I reconnected with T. a guy I had a mad, mad crush on in high school, but he never asked me out. I secretly hope he burns with regret over this decision. He tells me he's "googled" me and knows what I'm up to. Old habits die hard and I flirtatiously ask what he's doing. He laughs, because back in high school we knew each other well- we co-edited the high school paper and we alternately flirted or ripped on each other- a kind of junior version of "Cheers" Sam and Diane. So, we have a nice long chat about our jobs, our lives, and we show each other photos of our adorable children and just overall a really a nice conversation. At the end he says, "So, is it true you met your husband at Orange Julius at the mall?"
Of course I say NO- and I let him know that J. is not 26 either! (he's 33, which of course he makes a huge deal about being the "younger man")
Apparently, when I'm not leading convicts to Jesus, I'm trolling the mall for younger men. That's J.'s other story of how we met.
The more I have to drink the more hilarious I find my husband's winding up classmates I barely knew and will probably never see again (unless I go to the 30 year reunion- which is unlikely, my curiousity about these people is satisfied) One other story he told some guy I didn't know in high school in the elevator is that he is a retired pornography producer who has "left that kind of life behind." J. told T. (high school crush) this story and both were dying with laughter.
It was nice to spend some time with G. (who had a great time,) and as they should- people complimented her on how awesome she looked. And, J.B. a friend from Drama class and a "just friends" but excellent prom date sat with us and it was really great catching up with him. It was nice to see that people who were good kids in high school went on to have nice lives.
In the midst of all this a lot of my insecurities kind of dissipated. I think I have a few hang ups about how I look all the time and the reunion thing just made it flare up more intensely for a while. I was re-assured not to feel any pressure really in the whole "success" thing.
It was just a fun, surreal evening with the lovely G. and my ex-con, ex-porn producing, lumberjack that I met at the Orange Julius.
posted by moegirl at
11:20 AM
4 Comments:
Your husband sounds like a riot! What fun! I feel a lot of pressure in the "sauccess and image" arena, too. I've quite identified with these posts.
By
Coffee-Drinking Woman, At
12:19 PM
Finally! I can stop clicking on 'refresh'. I was just thinking about J.B. the other day, wondering when you'd fill us in on the reunion. Glad to know he's doing well. I cheated and ordered the photo CD of ours but didn't go. I got to sit back and look at the pictures but not make small talk. The perfect solution for me. I'm so glad you went. (Now I have to try and remember who on earth T was.)
By
Diana, At
1:21 PM
Surreal is the only way to describe it.
I told most people that I was bank robber; a few didn’t catch it and those that did never ask what I really did for a living. What was odd is I found myself reverting back to my loud “pay attention to me” high school self. Maybe I’m still that way.
After reading your pre and post reunion entries I’m puzzled by your disruption of me. I had a droopy-stringy bad hair cut, a pound of cracked and caked concealer on the massive pimple by my nose, and I was constantly sweating even after we were inside. I know I smelled a bit.
In the end it was a good bench mark on our lives. Yes, we aren’t doing what we’d planned to do 20 years ago, but a lot of great things have happened along the way.
All in all it was a blast., and I’m glad you and J were my dates. J is a hoot! It was great to see my “husband” JB.
I’ll go to the 30, if you do…
Gail
By
Anonymous, At
10:46 AM
Wow. That is a hysterical story. I wish I could have been there just to see how everyone reacted to J's stories.
That is so great that he could pull something like that off.
Orange Julius!
Did I not tell you that the men would look bad? And I'm guessing that there are a lot of women who feel they dont' look that great and that was their sole reason for not going. Too bad.
By
Rozanne, At
9:09 PM
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