The Country I thought I knew...
I'm having a hard time watching the news. My new job has given me a good excuse not to pay attention. No time, no mind space.
But what has really happened to me is I don't know my country anymore. I don't understand it...which is weird. Very weird, because I felt like its a place I've always known and loved.
Those of you who read this and who know me probably know I'm a history geek. A true blue history book person. It all started when I was 9 years old. I picked up my Mom's junior biography of Eleanor Roosevelt. I couldn't put it down. It was a book my mom had when she was a girl and was just sitting on the shelf and I read it and just couldn't put it down. Between that and our nation's bicentennial when I was 8, and I actually enjoyed the Walter Cronkite "Bicentennial Moments" where Walter would intone in his wonderful voice some snippet about the founding of our country. I was hooked- at age 9.
I was a history major in college and I did a year of grad. school thinking I wanted to be an American History professor. My era of study was the progressive era, the founding of modern America- just an incredible time of change and activism, women's sufferage, a very dynamic time.
While it was all very mentally stimulating, and for me fun. There was another piece to it. I fell in love. I fell in love with my country, its constitution, its spirit. I felt for as geeky and retro as it was (who feels like this after Watergate, Vietnam?) proud to be part of the American experience- even with its many shameful points, there was something still to be proud to be a part of.
If you know me, I tend to be pretty passionate about things, when I'm in, I'm in it- heart too. This country I studied and felt I knew so well felt like it belonged to me. Even since the 2000 election, and diminished some after 2004 I hung on, desperately trying to save this love affair.
But the other day, when I saw the president sign that bill and when I see Iraq, I knew it was over. The country I loved I don't know anymore, I don't understand it, it doesn't belong to me.
Someone asked me how I think the mid-terms are going. I can't answer. I don't know this country anymore.
But what has really happened to me is I don't know my country anymore. I don't understand it...which is weird. Very weird, because I felt like its a place I've always known and loved.
Those of you who read this and who know me probably know I'm a history geek. A true blue history book person. It all started when I was 9 years old. I picked up my Mom's junior biography of Eleanor Roosevelt. I couldn't put it down. It was a book my mom had when she was a girl and was just sitting on the shelf and I read it and just couldn't put it down. Between that and our nation's bicentennial when I was 8, and I actually enjoyed the Walter Cronkite "Bicentennial Moments" where Walter would intone in his wonderful voice some snippet about the founding of our country. I was hooked- at age 9.
I was a history major in college and I did a year of grad. school thinking I wanted to be an American History professor. My era of study was the progressive era, the founding of modern America- just an incredible time of change and activism, women's sufferage, a very dynamic time.
While it was all very mentally stimulating, and for me fun. There was another piece to it. I fell in love. I fell in love with my country, its constitution, its spirit. I felt for as geeky and retro as it was (who feels like this after Watergate, Vietnam?) proud to be part of the American experience- even with its many shameful points, there was something still to be proud to be a part of.
If you know me, I tend to be pretty passionate about things, when I'm in, I'm in it- heart too. This country I studied and felt I knew so well felt like it belonged to me. Even since the 2000 election, and diminished some after 2004 I hung on, desperately trying to save this love affair.
But the other day, when I saw the president sign that bill and when I see Iraq, I knew it was over. The country I loved I don't know anymore, I don't understand it, it doesn't belong to me.
Someone asked me how I think the mid-terms are going. I can't answer. I don't know this country anymore.
posted by moegirl at
6:44 PM
3 Comments:
It's depressing, isn't it?
By
Coffee-Drinking Woman, At
5:10 PM
I know what you mean. But I hope you will vote. It's gonna be a long hard road back to get it back to where it used to be.
By
karmic, At
4:56 AM
It's hard to wrap my mind around how much damage the Bush Administration has done.
Just the other day, I was sort of wishing I was Canadian.
By
Rozanne, At
3:30 PM
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