Vacation and book reviews

Back from vacation, which was nice. My sister's wedding was quite lovely and I know I will like this husband much, much more than her first husband, which I have previously referred on this blog as "Asshat" and "Mr MC Hammerpants" (Why Mr. MC Hammerpants? Because he's the only person I'm aware of that has worn MC Hammerpants since 1992)

My sister looked nothing short of stunning in a very beautiful wedding gown and she looked incredibly happy, which made me very happy.

We then all had a big family vacation at Sunriver. This was nice. I swam and laid around by the pool and read a lot. I did also do some walking. For my troubles I was rewarded with a sunburn and more freckles.

I've done a fair amount of reading this summer, so here are some book reviews...

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte: Every summer I try to read one classic novel. Last year it was Anna Karenina. I have to say I found Jane Eyre a real page turner! I was blown away by Bronte's discriptions, brilliance at capturing subtle emotion and translating them on the page. This book was published 150 years ago, so Jane is quite a strikingly independent, fierce female character. If you like classical novels (say Jane Austen) this is a must read.

Diana Chronicles by Tina Brown: This was my "trashy romance" though it is non-fiction book. Since Diana was the real life princess of my youth and teen years, I kind of felt I grew up with her. Plus she is an icon of the 80s--when I think of the 80s and pop culture celebrities/personalities I do think of her. Anyway, I give this a mixed review. It is very gossipy and the pace is good, but its kind of sad. The Diana of the book is at turns shallow, selfish, narcissitic and then you would get a glimpse of a very, very sad woman. Her humanitarian efforts seem as much a ploy to get back at Prince Charles in a PR as much as geniune empathy for troubled people. Very gossipy treatment of a pop culture princess.

Middlesex by Jeffery Eugenides: This is a very interesting book that spans several generations of a Greek family and their family secrets. Interesting read on many levels: the immigrant in America and assimilation, intergenerational guilt and secrecy, and also sexual identity. Well written, and also an Oprah pick, and she generally picks some good stuff.

The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler: This book had personal emotional resonance with me. This book is about girls who became pregnant in the '50s and '60s and went away to maternity homes and surrendered their infants for adoption. The title refers to the practice of keeping a pregnancy secret and then saying the young woman was "away" helping a relative, recovering from illness, etc. The book deals with the big picture of sexuality in the 50s and 60s as well as the lack of access to contraceptives and information in this era. It also showed in a "big picture way" the social mores and condemnation families and communities imposed on these girls and young women. Once a young woman was pregnant out of wedlock she was instantly branded as bringing shame on herself and her family- she was "a slut/whore/fallen woman" and to spare the family shame when the pregnancy was to become noticable she was sent away to a "maternity home" throughout the U.S. there were maternity homes run by Catholic Charities, Salvation Army, and other religious charities. The girls were told at the homes they were terrible, shameful people and they were to surrender their baby to respectable Christian homes, and then they could put their shame behind them and move on. They were pressured to keep this episode of their life secret and hope that a "decent" man would marry them. The personal stories of these "girls" now women in their 50s and 60s is heartbreaking to say the least. Of course their harsh condemnation as youths and the shame and secrecy surrounding this trauma marked them for life. They were treated terribly. For supposed "Christian" homes these girls were treated in the worst way. When they went into labor they were sent to the hospital alone in a taxi- once the medical staffed learned they were from the maternity home they faced more scorn and sub standard treatment. One woman recalled she was left to labor alone in a hospital corridor because she wasn't married. One woman recalled laying in bloodied sheets for 2 days. The medical professionals were not compassionate. Once their babies were born some women never saw the child, or they had a few moments with the baby, or the baby was viewed briefly in nursery. Then these girls were expected to go home and lie about taking care of Aunt Mildred in Minnesota and go back to high school, college as if nothing ever happened. Its amazing the scorn heaped on these young women while the boys and men that impregnanted them faced no consequences.

As an adoptee this was hard to read. I sincerely hope my birth mother was treated with more compassion than many of the women in the book. Fessler does an outstanding job of painting a picture of how everyone conspired to hide and lie about pregnancy as well as condemning and shaming these young women. A very compelling read.