So its Palin...?! The chronicles of Spunky Sarah

Just thought I would follow up on my last post about Joe Biden with a post about John McCain's surprise pick of Sarah Palin. I knew about her before the pick because my husband's Alaskan and thinks she's a hottie, though doesn't agree with her much.

So, anyway, it has been quite surreal now that she's on the ticket. I really feel I have passed through the looking glass! I don't quite recognize the conservative Republican party of old- wasn't it 1992 when Marilyn Quayle let women know that women didn't want all those stupid rights that those mean feminists got so pushy about in the 60s and 70s? Apparently Republicans are embracing feminism now since its great for Sarah Palin to have kids and get all "uppity" (to borrow Republican parlance) and work at a super important job. Wow, what a refreshing change! And a recent one too, since they thought Hillary Clinton was annoying, whiny bitch a few months ago when she was running for President.

Another refreshing change from the Republicans is their new definition of "experience" after spending the summer ripping Obama for his lack of experience for his years in the U.S. Senate and his years in the Illinois state legislature. Not to mention some other jobs like law professor, practicing attorney, and best selling author.

That's not experience my friends! Now if he had won a tiara as Mr. Handsome guy of the year of Podunkville and attended 3 or 4 community colleges before getting his communications degree from the University of Idaho, and then returned to Podunkville to cover the sports happenings of the local high school on the T.V. that would have been experience!! What did that lazy Obama do? he attended some crappy Ivy League school, Columbia, in that backwater New York city, then he goes to some other school (probably correspondence!) some cheap law school called Harvard- so he edited the Harvard Law Review, so what its not as if people who done that end up being Supreme Court Justices or high powered attorneys- geez!

But the worst behavior of that lazy, stupid Obama is yet to come. After his excessive schooling, does he do the right thing by covering sports on the T.V. with big 80s hair and make-up applied with a trowel? No, Obama doesn't give a crap about serving his country or helping out the common man like Sarah Palin! No! Obama slaps America in the face and disgraces us ALL by becoming- I can hardly bear to write it- a Community Organizer. If you watched the Republican Convention last week you probably already know that Community Organizers, in addition to being irresponsible and laughable, are the complete scum of the earth!!

Oh that lazy, stupid, irresponsible Obama, he doesn't care about his country, no way! He leaves college and moves to Chicago and gets in with the wrong crowd- the community organizing crowd. Soon he is turning down 6 figure a year salaries for one thousand bucks a months and hanging out at sleazy places like churches, and spending hours and hours irresponsibly trying to help people who've been laid off at a closed steel mill get jobs. He hangs around poor people trying to make their lives better. Holy cow, what jerk Obama is...I bet he didn't EVEN TRY to get one T.V. sportscasting job...because he hates America. Obama didn't stop there, no even after he went to that Harvard school he came back to get people registered to vote. Then he is in the Illnois legislature, a completely worthless experience for one who wants a life in politics. Clearly.

If he wanted real experience he should have run for Mayor of a town of less than six thousand people, tromped down to the local library and tried to get a bunch of books banned and then fired the librarian when she refused to do it! Secondly as mayor of this little town he should have hired a consultant to get millions of dollars in earmarks from the federal government. This is the blueprint for success, because this what Spunky Sarah Palin did! Because Sarah loves America that much- enough to ban books, enough to squeeze some tax dollars from the Feds!

And another thing, lets compare Spunky Sarah to that lazy, immoral, "Community Organizer" Obama on the moral issues. This is where Obama's real immorality shines through because he believes in sex ed in school! Obama has this crazy thought that ignorance does not produce virtue, it produces unplanned pregnancy and STDs. Oh! How wrong he is...if teenagers never hear about safe sex and contraceptives, they will never hear about sex, and therefore never try it. Or maybe they might hear about it or watch a TV or have access to a computer, and then the answer is simple tell them: "Don't have sex" and they will readily comply with this command. Moral Spunky Sarah knows best how to teach morals to Americas teens, thats why she will make sure only abstience is taught in school, because abstience teaching works, er, uh, except in her own home, with her own kid, but anyway...back to that experience question.

Spunky Sarah became Governor of Alaska, 20 months ago, giving her oodles of executive experience governing as many people as there are in the city of Portland, Oregon. Which excites me because maybe one of our Mayors can become Vice President some day, and that would be pretty awesome! Plus Spunky Sarah has Commander in Chief experience, because for the last 20 months she has been in charge of the Alaska National Guard- all 4,000 of them. A huge force that she can tell to put out forest fires or stop a riot, if Alaskans were so inclined to riot (they're not, I'm married to an Alaskan, rioting is not their thing) and she has lots of foreign policy experience because her state is super close to scary Russia! And you know Sarah's the kind of girl who would be unafraid to say "Step off Putin! I'm loaded for bear (literally) and I will shoot off your Ruskie behind if'n' you were to mess with Alaska!" I totally can see her doing that because she's a hockey mom, and that's incredibly important experience.

And what of Obama- he's a "Soccer Dad" what a loser!! If he were any sort of decent parent his children would be playing hockey! Instead the un-American Obamas watch their daughters play soccer, how awful and stupid they are. When will the Obamas stop disgracing America? Surely Obama's "uppity" wife Michelle is of no help...has she won a snowmobile race? No! Does she work for an oil company? No! The only thing she and Todd Palin have in common is that they are raising the kids, and what a slip-shod job she's making of it too- neither of those girls play hockey and they have woefully unimaginitive names. The only way Michelle can redeem herself is if one of the girls becomes a teen parent and wife, thats the only way we know that Michelle taught her girls in a way similar to the Palin's. Or maybe Michelle will have a few more kids and name them Whirleygig and Yorkshire Pudding, that would at least help and maybe she'd have the common sense to get them playing hockey. But probably not, because Michelle is as stupid and unpatriotic as her husband. She eschewed multiple community colleges and the University of Idaho for dumpy Princeton. Then, like her dull husband she went to Harvard Law School, worked at an upscale law firm, then in a move perilously close to community organizing, she worked for the Mayor of the tiny village of Chicago and then worked at non-profits. Then, because she is so hideously immoral, she took a leave of absence from work to take care of her soccer-playing children and help her husband in his campaign to completely DESTROY AMERICA.

Luckily, Spunky Sarah will stop them, because like all colorful Alaskans, she has many enchanting stories to tell. I have a favorite story of hers, and she tells it so well! This story is of the mythical 'Bridge to Nowhere' this special Bridge costs millions and millions of dollars and the special Snow Queen Faerie Governor thought this was a splendid idea, until it became wildly unpopular and then she was very much against the special bridge, but she was very much in favor of the money to build the bridge. And because she is the special Snow Queen Faerie Governor she magically made it appear that she was against massive, wasteful, porkbarrel spending. But because she's so magical, she kept the money and only made it appear as if she was against it. That's why she will stop the evil Obama, because she can tell pretty stories and make people believe that they are real.