Also, did I mention we're mavericks?

Spunky Sarah is back! After being temporarily derailed by the mean ol' Katie Couric, liberal media filter that she is...asking nearly impossible questions like: name another Supreme Court decision besides Roe v. Wade that you disagree with....Sarah was completely stumped by that one, so Couric downshifted into "What news sources to you read to keep abreast of current events?" Also, insanely hard! So, Sarah scanned her memory bank- "I read whatever my handlers push across my desk."

So tonight she was back! Lookin' snappy in her smarty Librarian glasses and her Amy Winehouse style mini-beehive. (I've never seen her without it- I'm beginning to wonder if her skull is mis-shapen) and in such a friendly mood! Calling Senator Biden "Joe." how cute!

Really all I heard at the debates from her was:

"Maverick, Maverick, Maverick, Team of Mavericks, Maverick of the Senate, Maverick, Maverick"

"cut taxes, cut taxes, create jobs, create jobs, create jobs"

"Also, also, also, and also"

"Wall street greedy, greedy, greedy"

"Also, also, also"

"Gwen, I'm not going to answer your questions, I'm goin' to speak direct to the American people, no filter" (Especially you, liberal filter Gwen!)

"Also, Maverick, also Maverick, Terrorists hate freedom"

"Obama will wreck america with his taxes and general nastiness, but I kinda like you Joe, especially when you were mean to Obama in the debates which I watched (take that Katie!!)"

"Also, mavericks, Alaska, energy, Oil executives hate me, drill baby drill"

"Also, mavericks, Todd and I had some tough times at our kitchen table dreamin' up those crazy-ass names of our kids, Oops! I mean about our finances and health care because we're super regular unlike the freakish Obamas."

"Also, also, Mavericks, mavericks, Joe"

"Gays are icky, but tolerable. I believe I personally know a couple of the gays."

"Also, mavericks, also, reform, reform, change is comin' because we're reforming mavericks who love America unlike Obama and Joe here, whose a total Liar McLiarpants!"

"Vice President, well bein' VP should have more powers like in the Senate, Congress, whatever," (I just don't want to go to a lot of state funerals and stuff, I don't look good in black)

(Oh snap! Joe actually knew the answer, like the whole job descriptions in the Constitution. I guess I should have read more than the 2nd amendment only!)

"Also, mavericks...and we're busy being American lovin' mavericks we don't even know who in the hell George W. Bush is... quit living in the past Joe! Its all about the future, thats why my handlers are giving me a line Reagan used in the 1980 debates 'there you go again...' John McCain told me about the way back times and how lame Carter was and how cool Reagan was. So there you go."

Then liberal filter Gwen says: "Concluding statements"

(Sarah's internal monologue: Thank God! This was worse than the pageants! Debating is not "my talent"- my talent is playing the flute, which I'm sure Joe Biden cannot do! Also, did I say "Maverick" enough?)

"In conclusion, John McCain is the best guy ever he is the only person in the history of America that has ever fought for America he knows about wars and he knows how to win wars, because he is an awesome maverick and knows terrorists hate our freedoms. Also, he's a maverick, and we don't know this George W. Bush Joe has spoke of tonight or about the past eight years or whatever. It doesn't matter now because we're mavericks, reformers, and its all about change and massive maverick-isms, reform and change is comin'.

Thank you."

Obama and McCain on sedatives at first debate

So, the debate was on! How nice of John McCain to take time out from his P.R. photo opps- oh sorry!- I mean single handedly solving the financial crisis, by swooping into Washington to sit at a table with our still current President as he spends his final days in office presiding over the collapse of our economy.

For those of you who don't know, John McCain's "stunt of the week" this week was to dramatically "suspend" his campaign so he could save America by delaying his debate with Obama. He also tried to delay Sarah's debate with Joe Biden, probably after watching Sarah talking to Katie Couric and informing her that the two countries bordering Alaska are "foreign countries" - whew! I'm glad she cleared that up! I always wondered if Russians and Canadians were foreigners, and now, thanks to Sarah, I know that they are!

I thought Obama was far too easy on McCain- he got a few good jabs in, but didn't take the old guy down. Like, in the midst of the current crisis, which bears a resemblance to the savings and loan crisis of the late '80s. McCain should remember this quite vividly, since he was one of the Senators known as the "Keating five" who were investigated for their dealings with Charles Keating, one of the central figures in the crisis. The tax payers ended up bailing out those corrupt bankers, as we will probably be doing with this year's corrupt bankers.

Neither one of them was as animated or strong as I thought they should be since this country is in the middle of this huge crisis. They both seemed pretty chilled out. Obama did say "shredding regulations" and "spending orgy" in his critique, but he didn't dump the corpse of this economy at McCain's feet as he should have. McCain said "I saw this train wreck coming..."

Why the hell didn't Obama say, "Wow John, you saw this train wreck coming and what did you do about it? Did you try to stop it?!"

Also McCain ran from President Bush saying "I opposed Bush's policies on taxes, immigration, torture..." which is complete B.S. because once he decided to run for president he reversed himself on Bush's tax policy, on immigration, on torture and everything else and ran toward Bush. Why did he do that? because it was politically expedient to do that, because all he cares about is winning the presidency and he doesn't care what "principle" he had to compromise to do it. Maybe Obama could have pointed that out. Just sayin'

Anyway, I did learn some things from that crazy old coot McCain:

1. North Koreans are 3 inches shorter than their South Korean neighbors, mainly because that crazy dictator starves them or has an evil "People shrinker" in addition to nukes. Which is bad, because Americans don't want to get shorter, it will ruin the NBA.

2. Israel faces an "existential threat"- does this mean the Israelis are in danger of wearing black turtlenecks drinking coffee, smoke cigarettes and rejecting rationalism and empiricism and having portraits of Jean Paul Sartre everwhere? Israel is under attack by a philosophical school of thought? That and the Iranians! They do need our assistance. Maybe we should send Sarah Palin over there to help- I'm sure she's real good with philosophy 'n' stuff.

3. McCain saw "this trainwreck" meaning the collapse of the U.S. finance system coming, and yet kept saying "The fundamentals of our economy are strong" which means he was lying and he saw a terrible crisis coming and he chose to bury his head in the sand.

I despite the fact that I found the debate to be a huge disappointment, I was heartened by the fact that 40 plus years ago it took Federal agents and a stand-off with Mississippi Governor blocking the door to the University to get James Meredith, a black man just to enroll as a student and now we have a black man running for president. That's pretty cool progress.

So its Palin...?! The chronicles of Spunky Sarah

Just thought I would follow up on my last post about Joe Biden with a post about John McCain's surprise pick of Sarah Palin. I knew about her before the pick because my husband's Alaskan and thinks she's a hottie, though doesn't agree with her much.

So, anyway, it has been quite surreal now that she's on the ticket. I really feel I have passed through the looking glass! I don't quite recognize the conservative Republican party of old- wasn't it 1992 when Marilyn Quayle let women know that women didn't want all those stupid rights that those mean feminists got so pushy about in the 60s and 70s? Apparently Republicans are embracing feminism now since its great for Sarah Palin to have kids and get all "uppity" (to borrow Republican parlance) and work at a super important job. Wow, what a refreshing change! And a recent one too, since they thought Hillary Clinton was annoying, whiny bitch a few months ago when she was running for President.

Another refreshing change from the Republicans is their new definition of "experience" after spending the summer ripping Obama for his lack of experience for his years in the U.S. Senate and his years in the Illinois state legislature. Not to mention some other jobs like law professor, practicing attorney, and best selling author.

That's not experience my friends! Now if he had won a tiara as Mr. Handsome guy of the year of Podunkville and attended 3 or 4 community colleges before getting his communications degree from the University of Idaho, and then returned to Podunkville to cover the sports happenings of the local high school on the T.V. that would have been experience!! What did that lazy Obama do? he attended some crappy Ivy League school, Columbia, in that backwater New York city, then he goes to some other school (probably correspondence!) some cheap law school called Harvard- so he edited the Harvard Law Review, so what its not as if people who done that end up being Supreme Court Justices or high powered attorneys- geez!

But the worst behavior of that lazy, stupid Obama is yet to come. After his excessive schooling, does he do the right thing by covering sports on the T.V. with big 80s hair and make-up applied with a trowel? No, Obama doesn't give a crap about serving his country or helping out the common man like Sarah Palin! No! Obama slaps America in the face and disgraces us ALL by becoming- I can hardly bear to write it- a Community Organizer. If you watched the Republican Convention last week you probably already know that Community Organizers, in addition to being irresponsible and laughable, are the complete scum of the earth!!

Oh that lazy, stupid, irresponsible Obama, he doesn't care about his country, no way! He leaves college and moves to Chicago and gets in with the wrong crowd- the community organizing crowd. Soon he is turning down 6 figure a year salaries for one thousand bucks a months and hanging out at sleazy places like churches, and spending hours and hours irresponsibly trying to help people who've been laid off at a closed steel mill get jobs. He hangs around poor people trying to make their lives better. Holy cow, what jerk Obama is...I bet he didn't EVEN TRY to get one T.V. sportscasting job...because he hates America. Obama didn't stop there, no even after he went to that Harvard school he came back to get people registered to vote. Then he is in the Illnois legislature, a completely worthless experience for one who wants a life in politics. Clearly.

If he wanted real experience he should have run for Mayor of a town of less than six thousand people, tromped down to the local library and tried to get a bunch of books banned and then fired the librarian when she refused to do it! Secondly as mayor of this little town he should have hired a consultant to get millions of dollars in earmarks from the federal government. This is the blueprint for success, because this what Spunky Sarah Palin did! Because Sarah loves America that much- enough to ban books, enough to squeeze some tax dollars from the Feds!

And another thing, lets compare Spunky Sarah to that lazy, immoral, "Community Organizer" Obama on the moral issues. This is where Obama's real immorality shines through because he believes in sex ed in school! Obama has this crazy thought that ignorance does not produce virtue, it produces unplanned pregnancy and STDs. Oh! How wrong he is...if teenagers never hear about safe sex and contraceptives, they will never hear about sex, and therefore never try it. Or maybe they might hear about it or watch a TV or have access to a computer, and then the answer is simple tell them: "Don't have sex" and they will readily comply with this command. Moral Spunky Sarah knows best how to teach morals to Americas teens, thats why she will make sure only abstience is taught in school, because abstience teaching works, er, uh, except in her own home, with her own kid, but anyway...back to that experience question.

Spunky Sarah became Governor of Alaska, 20 months ago, giving her oodles of executive experience governing as many people as there are in the city of Portland, Oregon. Which excites me because maybe one of our Mayors can become Vice President some day, and that would be pretty awesome! Plus Spunky Sarah has Commander in Chief experience, because for the last 20 months she has been in charge of the Alaska National Guard- all 4,000 of them. A huge force that she can tell to put out forest fires or stop a riot, if Alaskans were so inclined to riot (they're not, I'm married to an Alaskan, rioting is not their thing) and she has lots of foreign policy experience because her state is super close to scary Russia! And you know Sarah's the kind of girl who would be unafraid to say "Step off Putin! I'm loaded for bear (literally) and I will shoot off your Ruskie behind if'n' you were to mess with Alaska!" I totally can see her doing that because she's a hockey mom, and that's incredibly important experience.

And what of Obama- he's a "Soccer Dad" what a loser!! If he were any sort of decent parent his children would be playing hockey! Instead the un-American Obamas watch their daughters play soccer, how awful and stupid they are. When will the Obamas stop disgracing America? Surely Obama's "uppity" wife Michelle is of no help...has she won a snowmobile race? No! Does she work for an oil company? No! The only thing she and Todd Palin have in common is that they are raising the kids, and what a slip-shod job she's making of it too- neither of those girls play hockey and they have woefully unimaginitive names. The only way Michelle can redeem herself is if one of the girls becomes a teen parent and wife, thats the only way we know that Michelle taught her girls in a way similar to the Palin's. Or maybe Michelle will have a few more kids and name them Whirleygig and Yorkshire Pudding, that would at least help and maybe she'd have the common sense to get them playing hockey. But probably not, because Michelle is as stupid and unpatriotic as her husband. She eschewed multiple community colleges and the University of Idaho for dumpy Princeton. Then, like her dull husband she went to Harvard Law School, worked at an upscale law firm, then in a move perilously close to community organizing, she worked for the Mayor of the tiny village of Chicago and then worked at non-profits. Then, because she is so hideously immoral, she took a leave of absence from work to take care of her soccer-playing children and help her husband in his campaign to completely DESTROY AMERICA.

Luckily, Spunky Sarah will stop them, because like all colorful Alaskans, she has many enchanting stories to tell. I have a favorite story of hers, and she tells it so well! This story is of the mythical 'Bridge to Nowhere' this special Bridge costs millions and millions of dollars and the special Snow Queen Faerie Governor thought this was a splendid idea, until it became wildly unpopular and then she was very much against the special bridge, but she was very much in favor of the money to build the bridge. And because she is the special Snow Queen Faerie Governor she magically made it appear that she was against massive, wasteful, porkbarrel spending. But because she's so magical, she kept the money and only made it appear as if she was against it. That's why she will stop the evil Obama, because she can tell pretty stories and make people believe that they are real.

So its Biden

Despite work being kind of crazy, vacations, medical stuff and the rest, I have been following the political scene pretty regularly.

Watched a lot of TV yesterday about Obama's selection of Joe Biden for Vice President. I think it's a good choice for a lot of reasons. For those of you who don't watch C-SPAN or don't exclaim "Oh excellent!" when NPR provides wall to wall coverage of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearings like me, I have observed a bit of Joe Biden in action.

On the bad side, to say the dude is verbose is an extreme understatement. I've listened to him on radio and said "Get to the point already!" he hardly leaves time for the the hearing's witnesses to give any information. On the flip side, he usually can be very sharp and cutting with all the crap that Bushco. has been peddling. I find him to be incredibly smart, and usually completely spot-on in his analysis of foreign relations.

In the early Democratic debates this year, he was one of or if not the sharpest debaters- witty, smart and clearly got the message about his verbosity and used the perception to have a few clever comebacks.

I was extremely pleased it was not Hillary. Man! I'm sick of the Clintons. I voted for Bill both times and in many ways he was a very good president. I admit I was suffering from Clinton fatigue in 2000. Something about them really bothers me. I can't put my finger on it. Is it A: They are completely emblematic of the Boomer generation's selfish sense of entitlement, and the sense that they, not their truly deserving parents, are "The Greatest Generation" and their rapacious selfishness and self-aggrandizement- or is it B: Hillary's sense of entitlement - she did not have a campaign plan for after Iowa - and again, back to the Boomer thing- message to Boomer feminists like Hillary- you can't have it both ways- you can't play the Helen Ready card ("I am woman hear me roar!") and then tout your experience as First Lady, the nation's hostess, as "government experience." I wouldn't want to detract from Hillary's genuine smarts and accomplishments, but it earns her top dog in a law firm or CEO of a major company, but no political life without Bill. She was completely lacking in that area.

Plus, I'm glad Obama didn't even vet her for the job. It seemed like the Clinton people were bullying him and he would have looked weak if he caved in. Plus, its time for the Clintons to move on- the torch has been passed.

The Biden pick I think was driven by the crisis between Russia and Georgia. Obama does not have much foreign policy experience. Obama gained early traction with the message that the architects for the Iraq war were full of foreign policy experience but bungled it terribly, and his early opposition to the war demonstrated his good judgment.

As a student of history, I think good judgment is important, but one other factor, much less discussed is also important: humility. The leaders, historically, who tend to drag nations into horrific foreign policy decisions tend to be hyper-arrogant jerk-offs. They know everything and don't listen to anything that doesn't confirm their already formed opinion or course of action. (Sound like our current president?)

I do think Obama has good judgment and humility.

The Republicans are already howling about how Biden should be at the top of the ticket since he has all this foreign policy experience. Goodness, how one wishes the Republicans had all this concern about foreign policy experience when they nominated a small-minded, vacuous, Governor with no foreign policy experience and exactly five years experience in elective office. You may remember this man-child who spent his first forty years in a drunken stupor leaning on Daddy's connections to get him out of the Vietnam war, and get him in to jobs and finally into politics. He was the Republican nominee in 2000- George W. Bush. But of course, it was Jim Dandy with the Republicans because he had Dick Cheney, with his many years of foreign policy experience as Vice President- so great, he could get little Georgie to remember a few simple platitudes about "foreigners" and it was all good.

And, it really makes me sad to say this- it was important for Obama to pick a white man. With the economy, Iraq, housing crisis and nearly 80% of Americans saying the country is headed the wrong direction the Dems should be running away with this thing, but its a dead heat. Why? I really think bigotry is a factor- just think it was 45 - 50 years ago when many Americans would not share a lunch counter or a bathroom with a black person, and there was essentially an American apartheid in the South, where blacks were oppressed and marginalized.

Of course, today no one will say they won't vote for Obama because he's black. The highly refined bigots confine their objections to political reasons, the no foreign policy experience, (though I'm sure they confidently voted for Bush in 2000) or his youth.

The less sophistocated bigots give weight to the internet rumors that Obama is a "secret Muslim" and he and his wife are "black radicals."

Okay, here's a funny/sad clip from back in May from the "Daily Show" and the West VA. primary- I know they stack the deck for comedic purposes, but still it's telling (the end of the clip isn't very funny, but it gives you a taste, in case you've been missing it, of Hillary's awful stilted speaking style) Also, it is the Daily Show, so I warn you of some off color, yet hilarious juvenile humor:

O Canada!

This year's fabulous summer vacation was to visit my sister in Canada. Even J was able to come this year and we spent a whole week in beautiful British Columbia, Canada. (Allie got to spend four weeks! My sister took her after she was in town to be the green bridesmaid)

Here's my niece and Allie in the lake a few blocks from my sister's place. It's very beautiful, great to swim in, oh, and there's that incredible view of the Canadian Rockies!

J. and I actually had a nice time in the 12 hour car ride up. Although, I was a bad passenger and J. drove through Eastern Washington, (Tri-Cities to Spokane) which is an endless 300 mile trek of flatness, and yellow grass, interrupted occasionally by a sad, scraggly tree or a dust funnel cloud.

Once in Canada we had a great time visiting, going to the lake and swimming, walking into town to the bakery for fresh pastries and coffee...*sigh* The other outstanding feature of the vacation was a visit to Fort Steele, a sort of turn of the century Canadian pioneer town, which is actually pretty cool. Many of the buildings are intact/re-furbished and some are "working" as they work back 100 years ago (Like the blacksmith, with huge billows and they actually make sell-able items like fireplace andirons and dinner bells) Some of the people are around town in period costumes, it was really quite interesting- my sister's kids as part of their schooling get to stay at the Fort and live as they did 100 years ago. The kids got to pan for gold, and Allie found twelve "flecks" of gold.

It was great visiting my sister, though, it makes me miss the fact she doesn't live close anymore. She did find a use for the ugly green shawl, she uses it as the table runner on her dining table.

All in all it was a great time. When I got back I had to go in for a medical procedure and get a bit of my cervix removed. Thankfully, this is all that needs to be done and I'm all clear. I did have my appointment re-scheduled yet again by the office wonder twins, but thankful now its all over.

I can't believe there are only a few weeks of summer left!

make way for ducklings

Okay, its bizzare, but here it is the middle of summer. My sister's visit was great. She only spent one night with Mr Jackass and wife (see previous post) and the rest of the time with me, at our place. It was quite the wonderful visit. I miss her living so far off in Canada.

Part of the reason she was visiting was to be a bridesmaid at a high school friend's wedding. I guess they were going for an "Irish" theme. My sister had to wear this high waisted bright grass green short dress that looked like a nightgown or a swimsuit cover-up. It was that plain cotton that most sleepwear is made from. I guess to "glam it up" the gave her this gauzy, scratchy polyester/acrylic blend "shawl" thing to drape over it that had all sorts of weird designs on it as if someone ate a lot of green food and then barfed it up.

My sister was quite a trouper and intends to wear the dress as a nightgown. I've always really respected how my sister is one of those people who goes above and beyond for people she cares about- even enduring bizzare green dresses, but really I will never forget her and how she stood by me during my pregnancy and early days of single motherhood. Plus, with her its generally a good time. She has a great sense of humor and ultimately something weird almost always happens.

This year I would say it was the baby duckling incident. We were stopped at an intersection with our kids in the back seat and a little row of tiny, tiny baby ducklings (without their mom!) were wandering towards traffic and we were all screaming they did veer away and my sister and the kids were all upset that they were going to get hit. It was too stressful so I had to jump out of the car and chase the little ducklings off the street, into a big grassy yard. My sister had to turn at the intersection and pull over. I think she was a little alarmed that I impulsively dove out of the vehicle. She did come up with a hilarious story of how the mother duck is "on crack" and duck social services should take the babies away from the crack duck mama.

Allie is now with her, my brother-in-law, nephew and niece. I've had a few reports, she has been swimming at the lake many times, gone on a camping trip and has rash of an undetermined nature (perhaps poison oak) she's having a great time as she does every year.

No stories of crack duck mamas ignoring their babies, apparently Canadian mother ducks are more responsible...

Good results

The news from the biopsy was very good. They didn't find much except "very mild dysplasia" which they will freeze off. Sounds freaky, but hey, if it works that great. I will need to have more exams just track, but it was really good news and I feel much better without a nagging feeling in the back of my mind about what is going to happen.

I did find out that the reason person "A" of the wonder office twins has a job is because she's married to the doctor. I don't know the story behind "B" if she's a relative or not...

Work has been unusually crazy and time consuming. I continue to be glad that I work for a non-profit that does good things, it makes it very easy when the crazy time comes.

Allie is leaving for Canada. My sister will be in town from Canada tomorrow! However, I'm in a bit of a quandry.

My sister is staying with a couple that she and her husband used to be friends with when she lived in Oregon. I don't know how close they are now, but lets just say I never really liked these two. Especially the husband, who I will call T.J. for "Total Jackass"

T.J. is sort of a belligerent, sexist jerk-off, that, if you can believe it becomes even more intolerable when drunk, which is apparently quite often, at least in my experience. Since I pretty much avoid him like the frickin' plague, I've probably been around him about a dozen times in 11 years. Of those twelve times he's been belligerently drunk about ten times. And he gets drunk on really crappy beer like bud light or other cheap crappy "light" beer. (I admit it, I'm a beer snob)

So the last time I saw T.J. (anytime I see him is only to see my sister, and to see her I must endure his presence) we were at a restaurant and he got completely wasted. Then he was rambling incoherently about "taking me out to the parking lot and beating me up"- a threat which I did not take the least bit seriously, because he's a total idiot and he was so drunk I could have knocked him over with my index finger. Plus, how stupid, "he's going to beat me up"?? OOOHHH, are we in third grade? is he going to take my lunch money too? He's so contemptable I don't think its even worth my breath to speak to him.

Well, all of this happened over a year ago. I never mentioned it to J because it basically had little or no significance to me. So a couple of nights ago I say to J. "I'm bummed my sister is staying with T.J. & wife, and I HATE T.J." since I rarely HATE anyone, J said "Wow, what's that about" then I related the story of my last experience with T.J. This pretty much enraged J. As a husband, he was not too cool with some guy threatening to beat up his wife.

The quandry is this: I want to maximize the time spent with my sister, but I want to spend absolutely NO TIME in the presence of T.J. His wife is slightly more tolerable, but not by much. I really don't even want to spend time having two minutes of polite chit-chat with them, and I certainly don't want J. in the presence of T.J. EVER.

So I'm working on an avoidance scheme. It really bothers me.