Happy New Year

Yea! A new year. 2005 wasn't so bad, but really by virtue of the fact that it wasn't 2004, which was an incredibly shitty year, so 2005 did not have a very high hurdle to clear. It was refreshing in it's mediocre, kind of "ground hog day" quality. Therefore, I am expecting more from 2006.

This week I have had the whole week off, which I have dubbed the "week of sloth"- and that it has been. Many days I loll around in my pajamas until well into the afternoon. I read books, watch stupid TV shows and snack on crappy food. A few days ago I had a chocolate chip cookie and a glass of milk for breakfast, leftover Christmas candy for a snack and ha, ha "low fat" sour cream and onion potato chips as "lunch"-- then I felt really sick from all the bad food and actually ate real food- a sandwich. On the good side, I did get in some long walks which has been my saving grace in the unhealthy week of sloth debacle. I fear that my ass would have needed its own zip code had I not been faithfully walking and walking up hills. The other upside of the many upsides of the "week of sloth"- is that I'm spending a lot of time with Allie, my daughter, teaching her in the ways of sloth, and boy is she a quick study. She may rival her mother in slothfulness with a few more years of careful preparation and training. I think the apex of our mother/daughter sloth fest was when we watched the "What Not to Wear" tv show marathon, and ate snacks. Last night, she and I had a "sleep over" in our own living room - its been a long time since I have had a sleep over- we did each others make up and giggled and laughed and slept on the living room floor. It was a lot of fun, except the whole sleeping on the floor part, and her badgering me to stay up until 2:00 am watching Tyra Banks and "America's Next Top Model"-- not to be catty, but its a good thing those girls are so beautiful...

Allie has developed a new character for her Sasha Fizzypiper story- Jordan Pistachio- an owner of French restaurant that badgers people into eating at his place. (although a friend has nearly convinced her to change his first name to Francois, a little more French than Jordan)

I don't typically set up new years resolutions, but I plan to continue "Operation Improvement" in 2006. Operation Improvement is for me, to improve myself inside and out. I will continue walking and I will after "week of sloth" try to eat some decent food. I think this year I will try to spice up my sad, sad wardrobe. To give you an idea, for work I have four pair of pants- light kakhi, dark kakhi, black and a sort of olive color. Since these are all neutral colors- they get paired with an aray of sweaters and shirts- pink sweater, green sweater, grey sweater, and lots of black. Sometimes I freak out my work mates and wear my exciting skirts- grey or black or hold on to your hats- a floral print!! But thats about the extent of my sad little ensembles. This year I plan to spice it up with accessories. I will find out what exactly they are and how to wear them. I've already started. I found a really cute pair of crystal earrings for $7, marked down from $25. I even know the shirts and sweaters that will match it!

Well, must get back to eeking out the remaining lumps of sloth from my time off.

Happy and healthy 2006 to all!!

Merry Christmas!!

I wish I were organized enough to find people's actual physical address and use real cards and maybe a picture of my adorable daughter in sort of some Christmas themed package. I have great friends who are able to do this and I love, love, love getting their cards in the mail!!

I'm working towards this, and I think by Christmas 2008 I will be able to do it. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself though....

Anyway, in lieu of physical paper greetings, I set out my Christmas thoughts here.

I'm lucky. I have a nice family and I have wonderful friends. I have a job that I care about and work with people who are kind and thoughtful. So, this Christmas, I feel grateful.

As for the year in review- well, it was just one of those years....you know, you go to work, cook dinner, grocery shop, watch mindless television shows, do the laundry and wonder where in the hell the other socks go and why there are less and less pairs with each round of laundry. You pay bills, bang your shins on the furniture, take the car in for an oil change, help your kid with her homework, go to bed and wake up and do it all over again. Before you know it the year is over.

There were a few stand out moments. For me, it was walking the Portland Marathon (woo hoo!) Also, Allie joined orchestra and she has done four concerts. She's excelling in school. My husband solidered through another year at a job he hates working for a very loathsome character, but a creative project is about to be born from his suffering...he and a friend are creating a comic book about it. Loathsome boss is protrayed as a barfing hippo. Somehow if you knew about this guy, it would make total sense.

Now it is Christmas. As usual I'm starting really late on Christmas preparations and so I'm up at all sorts of odd hours wrapping gifts. Last night I tried to make divinity candy but screwed it up. I was left with an odd sort of goo that was like fighting the tar baby to clean up. My fudge was much more successful. I wrapped a few more presents and it was about 1:00 am and everyone was asleep except me. I turned off all the lights and looked at the tree- we have bubble lights and old ornaments and new ornaments and ornaments that Allie hand painted. We have a swan ornament with a pink ribbon that says "Baby's first Christmas 1994"

I kind of just finally sat still for a moment and enjoyed the bubble lights and the hodge podge of Christmas decor on our tree, and it finally felt like Christmas.

Hauntingly beautiful movie, and saturation point...

This is a movie that I saw about a year ago, and just recently purchased the DVD. Probably one of the most hauntingly beautiful films I have seen...ever. Before you get too excited it does have subtitles. Its a French film with subtitles. I know there are people under no circumstances will tolerate a subtitled film. Anyway, if you can live with subtitles, this movie, called "A Very Long Engagement" is just stunning.

It was snowy and icy outside and I decided to pop this movie in. It was just as gorgeous and amazing as I remembered it being in the theater a year ago. The story involves a young woman who believes her fiance is still alive despite very strong evidence he has perished horrifically in the First World War (everyone who perished in the First World War did so horrifically. It was probably the most brutal and horrifying war in human history, and the film does have some scenes portraying that horror. But, you may ask, Why is the Second World War not the most horrifying? Well, the first made the second possible. It was merely a 20 year truce. This though is for another post, called "I'm a History Geek") Anyway, back to the story... so she struggles to re-create the circumstances of her love's last days and flashbacks are used, as well as a rich and mysterious storyline develops as we follow her on her journey.

The entire film is stunningly gorgeous to watch. And look for a well-known American actress midway through the film speaking French which is just odd sounding since you are so accustomed to hearing her in English.

Stunning. Beautiful. I'm out of adjectives.

On a much less pleasant note, I watched the President's "speech" - or garbled, empty, oft-repeated platitudes about Iraq. I'm so glad the President has constructed an alternate reality where "real progress" is being made. Call me picky, but what I would call "real progress" is a lot less dead people, and less maimed people. Yes, that's it- less dead and less maimed. That would be "real progress" in my book.

Oh yeah, in writing my smart-ass, snarky assesment of the President's speech, I'm sure that I will have my communication monitored without a warrant and without probable cause, because that Constitutional protection no longer exists for some Americans, and by some Americans I mean those Americans that the President decides aren't entitled to that protection without any oversight by the judicial branch. So, I hope the President enjoys pouring over transcripts of my boring phone calls asking my husband to pick up Allie or if he needs something at the Safeway.

Anyway, as I was watching the speech, two thoughts came to mind "Why in the hell am I watching this?" and "I've finally made it"- I have reached the long awaited for saturation point. My sponge is full, I can no longer muster emotional outrage at the wrongdoing anymore. I swear if I walk by the news stand and the headlines blared "Bush puts kittens in blender" or "Bush declares Democrats must report to re-education camps" I would just shrug my shoulders and sigh, for it is just another day in Bushworld.

It's not really Christmas until the cat barfs up some tinsle

Inspired by Rozanne, I will recall some Christmases past. I read her very wonderful recollections and my friend Diana's response and had to laugh at the contrast. They both wrote about sneaking some Christmas cookies.

I'm confused, weren't there tons of cookies, candy canes, blocks of fudge and pieces of divinity just freely there for the taking? I mean was this stuff monitored? Hey, not at our house...want a holiday sugar high? no problem.

Here I recall the zenith of Christmas memories for me. The years '75-'79 the years when I was still young enough to be totally spastically excited about everything related to Christmas. After '79 I was headed to junior high and my parents had divorced, and things weren't really the same.

Mom, as I have related in earlier posts, was pretty free-wheeling when it came to sugar in general, so in the spirit of holiday generosity, we were allowed EVEN MORE at Christmas. She had a huge hanging "Noel" banner that came out every December 5th - it was the countdown banner with a little pouch for candy canes for me and my sisters and everyday of the countdown in the 20 days before Christmas we got our candy cane- want a candy cane before breakfast? Oh sure, why not!!

This was merely a warm up to the actual family get togethers where Grandmas on both sides showed off their baking skills with huge plates of cookies, fudge and divinity- for those of you that don't know- divinity is candy made of whipped sugar and light corn syrup dyed in pastel-like Christmas colors. Plates and plates of this stuff was left out for the taking by me, my sisters and cousins- there was no adult supervision, I don't recall anyone ever saying "you can have one piece of candy" or anything like that. The adults visited, we snagged candy and ran around like whirling dervishes, manically on a sugar high.

The Christmas debauchery didn't end there. My parents had no problem with holiday consumerism...bring on the presents! We were pretty spoiled and had tons of gifts which we tore open with reckless abandon, leaving wrapping and ribbon strewn all over the room.

One area though, where my mom really excelled was Christmas decoration and her tree decorating philosophy. She was and still is a very talented artist, and She hand-painted a whole ceramic Christmas Nativity scene, and I was incredibly obsessed with it. It sat on the table attachment of the "harvest gold" sectional (it was the '70s) and I loved to re-arrange it and play act the wise men's arrival and move Mary around and the donkey and the sheep and the cow. However, the most entrancing piece was the baby Jesus who I often lifted out of his manger crib and held in the palm of my hand. He was really a perfect little baby- blond hair, and as befits his stature- the most serene and peaceful face. I loved this baby Jesus piece and realized, that he was the perfect size to be Barbie and Ken's baby in my new two-level Barbie dream house!! So, our Lord and Saviour was transported from the homey manger and serene prayerful Mary to the hot pink and blue two story deluxe "dream house" and his new mommy, dressed in hot pink, "Malibu Barbie" and his new dad, Ken. With his new family Jesus had many adventures including riding with Ken in the Malibu Jeep and swimming with Barbie in the inflatable pool. That was until Mom noticed Jesus' conspicious absence from the manger scene.

It was relayed to me in no uncertain terms: "These are breakable Christmas decorations. Baby Jesus is NOT A TOY!"

Mom also made sure the tree was a work of art as well. It was always full and millimeters away from the ceiling. We had tons of lights, and my favorite was of course, the bubble lights. Mom also allowed us to literally throw tinsle on to the tree, which I must say was a total blast.

One year, and I don't remember which cat, decided tinsle would be good eatin'. We came home one day, tired and bedraggled from some Christmas related event to find a cat (we had many) heaving and wretching in the entry way. Mom, my sisters and I stood entranced in fascinated horror as the cat barfed up a lumped combination of cat hair, half digested Meow-Mix and Christmas tree tinsle. My mom let out an exhausted moan/sigh and told me to put the cat outside. Mom went upstairs to get a rag to clean up. I threw the poor cat out the sliding door. After tossing out the kitty, I couldn't help but stoop down and take a closer look at the shiny braids of Christmas tinsle in the kitty barf.

Ahhh...Christmas memories.

New addition to the family- Milo

He is ham-tacular! ham-tastic! ham-fabulous! And just plain adorable. Meet Milo, the latest addition to the family. We got Milo from the Scamps Pet Center on Thursday. We have enjoyed getting to know Milo, and seeing him in action in his mighty hamster ball. We got Milo after Allie did much persuading to let us know the tremendous benefit of adding hamsters to your family. She even wrote a paper about the top three reasons she should get a hamster.

Ramblin' Rod, Bumpity, the Kite Man...vintage Portland

I don't know about other city's locally produced children's television programming during the 1970s, but in my heart, I feel Portland's, as most things are here in P-town, a little schlocky, a little weird, yet still unique and highly memorable-- was the best. As a youngster in here in the 1970s, my formative years included:

Ramblin' Rod:
A local morning cartoon show, hosted by you guessed it- Ramblin' Rod. Ramblin' Rod would enter the studio in his fake wood front tugboat to live audience of cheering children. He would introduce cartoons and interact with the audience. He wore a Mr. Rodger's-like sweater weighted down with buttons.

Back in the day, 1976 to be exact, yours truly was a audience member at the Ramblin' Rod show. I went with my Brownie troop. and we all wore our Brownie uniforms. There was a segment of the show called "Smile Contest" and the camera man focused on each child and you were expected to give your biggest and brightest smile. Guess what? I won! Was it my bright smile, or my absurdly large horse teeth? who knows- who cares! I was the envy of my entire Brownie troop- at age 8, this was the first thing I ever won. My prize? A case of "Pop Shoppe Pop" from a now defunct Portland soda maker. The Pop was kept in our garage, and I happily doled it out to my neighbors and re-counted my Smile contest win to my rapt audience. To be honest, Pop Shoppe Pop was really gross- too much syrup to carbonation ratio- in grape, orange and cherry.

Bumpity

What spurred my trip down memory lane? An e-mail from my husband asking "What is Bumpity?"

Basically, Bumpity was a locally produced children's show featuring a lump of green carpet with googly eyes. Probably the most cheap-ass children's television production of all time. I imagine it was the duty of two stoned college interns to produce the Bumpity show on a barren television sound stage. Occasionally Bumpity was joined by a blue sock with eyes or a local librarian would read a story. Bumpity would tell stories, sing songs and give simplistic advice about "stranger danger."

Shockingly, the Bumpity program had a very long run here in the Portland area- 1971-1985. I had no idea Bumpity extended his reign into the '80s. Apparently the show was jazzed up a bit when Bumpity was placed in a sandbox and a few fabric flowers were added to the soundstage.

The Kite man and other vintage PDX memories...
The Kite man was the excited spokesperson in a series of Portland General Electric's public service announcements warning kids not to touch power lines. He had a little group of kids and he spastically asked them "Hey kids! what do you do when you kite wiiiiinnnndsss around a power line!!!!?!!!" and the kids shout back "call the Kite man!!!" and then he asks, "What about frogs?" and one little girl in the group says, "I like frogs."

And then the commercial ends. What the hell? What is the deal with the frogs? One of the weirdest PSAs- ever.

I kind of miss those days- Portland felt smaller than it does now. It's hard to believe but back then the Portland Trailblazers were the world champs, and they were a beloved franchise. Everyone talked about the Blazers, Jack Ramsey's crazy plaid jackets and I remember listening to the games on the radio with Bill Schonley (sp?) who is now the Standard TV and Appliance pitchman.

Portland General Electric has a new PSA out now with a baffled looking kid on a bike looking at a sparking downed powerline. Everytime I see it all I can think is:

"What about frogs?"

my poor car

This was the day I was supposed to pick up my car from the auto body shop after my accident with Mr. Liar McLiarpants. My nice auto body guy called and said, "Bad news--when we were getting your car re-aligned at the Les Schwab, somebody backed into it. You will need a new bumper."

So, I will have my rental car for a few more days. I feel now like my car will never have any other disasters because now it has met it's quota for life.

In the movie the "World according to Garp"- Garp and his wife are looking to buy a house, and as they leave a prospective house with the realtor, a plane crashes into the side of the house, and Garp says to the realtor, "We'll take it" and the wife looks at him with a look of shock and disbelief, and he says to her, "The house is pre-diastered. We will be safe here."

I happen to believe in that sort of thing. My car has now been "disastered" therefore, I can drive it for more years with confidence that I will be safe in it.